Modern Chinese Short Story: A foreigner’s real experience of being driven crazy in Japan


In 2005, because of the company’s business relationship, Lao Sa received a Hispanic American from Florida in Osaka.

He suddenly realized –

A foreigner in Japan was driven crazy by the real experience of the earthquake!

A foreigner's real experience of being driven crazy in Japan

It is said that the Spanish brother was wearing a suit, the lower body around the bath towel, wailing and running out of the room, and I do not know how to dress like this, but see the Japanese people should do it, as nothing, but look at him and look like a ghost. The Spanish brother was confused again, if people are with a group of mental illness is easy to produce self-doubt, this brother is this state of mind, thinking that I have a problem? After a long time, he finally returned to his room unhappily.

Call the front desk, the Japanese English also do not understand, look at the house, the water is not flooding the waves, the Hispanic brothers are puzzled, to say normal, but in more than 40 years of life has never seen such a “normal” day. To say that it is not normal, how the Japanese people are not nervous at all? After 40 minutes of thinking, the only thing he can confirm is that he is mentally normal. Seeing no movement around, the suspicious Spaniard took off his suit and decided not to take a shower today and just sleep.

Peace and quiet until ……

At 3:00 at night, suddenly there was another crazy shock, the chandelier made a weird creaking sound, the comb placed on the dresser flew out of the bathroom door itself like a grenade, and the whole building was dancing. The old Spanish brother let out a ghostly cry and leapt out on his bare feet and ran down the stairs even 25 floors, all the way down to the lobby.

Only to see a peaceful scene, Japan is rich in nightlife, 3 o’clock, the lobby ladies are still carrying small bags joking, gentlemen looking at newspapers and smoking. The waiter hurried over to greet him with a trifle of suspicion, as if he feared he was mentally ill. This time the Hispanic brother did not grind his teeth with the Japanese odd English, and did not care that it was already midnight, asked for the pay phone a scream and pulled the old Sa out of bed.

Waking up from sleep, Lao Sa froze for 5 minutes to understand that the first is not a network problem, the second is not he let the Red Army to take away. Then asked, oh, it was an earthquake.

Old Sa then yawned and told him, hey, the earthquake is just a matter of seconds, and so you run down from upstairs stopped early, to collapse the building has already collapsed, you tossed what ah?

It doesn’t Make Sense! I can’t watch my house collapse!

I can’t watch my house collapse! Then he yelled to the Japanese government to ensure his personal safety.

I can’t watch my house collapse! Hey, don’t worry, earthquakes are a way of life in Japan, look around the Japanese people, they are not anxious, right? Here is ten days a small earthquake, January a medium earthquake …… very normal, you see the Japanese should know that they all feel very safe, do you a person afraid of death, everyone is not afraid of death? ……

Did not wait to finish, the other side interrupted me shouted up: NoNoNoNo!!! Not ah. You do not know the work of the Japanese kamikaze death squad? Suicide by harakiri is also a way of life for them! Their brains are not normal!

Shit, surrounded by Japanese, said the Japanese brain is not normal, the Spanish dare to say ah – but I guess there are not many Japanese around to understand. I was able to stabilize the kid with a lot of convincing, but he refused to go back to sleep on the 25th floor, and said he would call his lawyer overnight to buy insurance, and asked me to help him contact a hotel on a lower floor that was safe and easy to get out of.

Fine, as long as you don’t make a mess.

The next day I took my bloodshot Hispanic brother to a small Japanese-style hotel, a one-story bungalow with a wooden frame and papier-mache doors and windows, and rushed out with a strong bang. I said to him, look, this is good, although expensive, but not afraid of earthquakes, ah, even if it comes down, such a light roof can not kill people, you do not worry about it? The Spanish brother nodded his head and was so grateful that he paid the bill to live in the house.

When the formalities were finished and the keys were taken, the Japanese waitress bowed respectfully and said a long speech seriously. He looked at her inexplicably, and then at me, meaning that you give a translation ah?

I coughed dryly and said to the lady – this, you say it again.

The lady repeated it again, and he looked at me in confusion.

A real-life experience of a foreigner being driven crazy in Japan had no choice but to smile bitterly and turn back to my Hispanic brother full of sympathy: She said, this, welcome, this ……

He said: I understand this, I have learned a little, and the back?

I just had to repeat in the original: this, she said the eighteenth typhoon has landed in Kyushu, it is said that this is the largest typhoon suffered by Japan since the century, it will sweep through Osaka, during the typhoon Japanese government departments shut down, trains may stop running, aircraft may stop flying, in Kyushu has scraped a 10,000-ton ship, overturned more than a hundred houses, blowing two ghosts to death, please be fully prepared mentally.

This excitement is too strong.

I don’t know much about earthquakes, but Florida is too familiar with high winds. After listening to my description, the Hispanic brother, with a silly smile on his face, rushed to the door of the room, pushed the beautiful Idu paper-paste partition with his hand, then looked up at the sky with bloodshot eyes and let out a miserable howl that did not belong to humans –

OHH, MY GOD! No!!!!

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